Recently, I was approached by the The American City University to participate in a new series of free webinars designed to help the entrepreneur and working professional. This was an exciting learning process and I am very happy to share the results with you!

This engaging half-hour webinar covers the key challenges we face as business professionals with families, outside interests and career development targets. You will learn 5 tools that can be started right now to align your work/life focus for greater balance, speed and ease. Hope you enjoy the show and learn something extremely useful today!

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]]> http://www.gogreenlearning.com/articles/worklife-balance-mission-impossible/feed/ 0 http://www.gogreenlearning.com/articles/are-vampires-sucking-your-energy/ http://www.gogreenlearning.com/articles/are-vampires-sucking-your-energy/#comments Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:49:17 +0000 Gail Green http://www.gogreenlearning.com/?p=465

All of us have vampires in our lives, people who suck our energy. Sometimes these vampires are very clever about stealing our energy before we even know it. Usually where there are strong obligations, there are strong vampires. The “what I must do” is often bullied by a strong vampire making sure that is so.

Sometimes vampires operate at very high levels with smiles on their faces, leaders of the pack. I was leading a team that happened to be all women on a project that took months to complete. Everyone was a volunteer from different companies, and most of these women were vampires. One in particular ruled them all. Skillful vampires can shut you down with the look of an eye, and they can zap you of your energy before you even know they’ve taken a bite!

My intention was to demonstrate leadership, lifting them out of their controlling, dominating ways, but I didn’t know how to face this level of vampiring. If on an energy scale of 1 – 100, luvving occurs between 50 – 100. Vampiring starts at minus 30, and this queen vampire was at minus 240! I had never had to work with someone so developed!

I was given a very powerful tool called FUN EASE. They are fun to do and can feel very exhilarating what you activate them. Here’s how:

Bend your elbows and bring your hands up by your shoulders, palms facing forward. Splay your fingers so each one is stretched wide. Then close your hands into a fist, and open them back up sharply to the splayed position. That’s one. Repeat so that you do 8 of them at a time. Then repeat as often as you desire to feel balanced and engaged.

I went to the next meeting with the vampires and introduced the Fun Ease. I said, “We all have ideas, we all like to be in charge, and we tend to talk over each other. So let’s start with something called Fun Ease, and anytime we get carried away, anyone can stop and lead us in the Fun Ease to get everyone back aligned!”  They did them, laughed heartily, and we had several people who initiated the Fun Ease that first meeting.

At the next meeting, one of the team asked, “Aren’t we going to start with those things with our hands?” I said, “Of course! Let’s start all our meetings with the Fun Ease!” So we all did them, refreshed our spirits by reconnecting, and moved into the work at hand.

I do the Fun Ease often, daily. They connect my heart of courage to the situation at hand. They assist me to strenthen my interactions and balance my power.

Vampires in the midst? Fun Ease may be the answer!

We are all asked to do things we don’t like to do, at work and in life.  We’re also put in situations to deal with people we prefer not to be around.  It is our nature to go to war.  We are not trained to be luvvers.  It is only in our essence, which must be developed, that we learn to luvv what we don’t like.

I was working with a client this week, let’s call her Samantha, and her distanced father called out of the blue with a very controlling message about what she must do for her health.  It wasn’t enough that he called out of nowhere, it was that he had such a know-it-all, demanding message about what Samantha should be doing.  He made her feel wrong and stupid from the start.

He had called her cell phone, work phone, texted her, and cell phone again, demanding that she call back.  It had been over a 3-day period and Samantha hadn’t returned any of his messages.  When I asked her why, she began to cry, speaking through her tears, “I can’t.  I just can’t.”

Tears that gush like that are usually sitting right on top of some great awareness that desires to burst through.  So in looking deeper, we discovered the issue wasn’t with her father alone–it was with not being able to luvv what she didn’t like in general.  She had not developed the CAPACITY to luvv, or stay connected, to what she didn’t like.  And she had a history of closing off to her father’s controlling, belittling style.

I so relate to what she was feeling.  In fact, if I could depict my life in a phrase, the purpose of me being here is to LEARN to luvv what I don’t like.  I’m not good at it, but some days I rise above it.   I am extremely aware of the “tests” that Life sends my way to see if I’ve developed any character.   I have family members who are tests, colleagues and clients as well.  Life throws in twists and unsuspected change of events and it all comes down to learning to luvv what is given to me vs. fighting it to make it my way.  I am fatigued when I fight so hard, so why do I fight so?

It takes a lot to change these strong inner patterns.  I tend to think I’m in control, that it’s all up to me, and that there are no magical hands or guidance.  I forget over and over the power of my luvv–when I will.  I’m not talking about love, which is kumbaya or passive sharing and caring.  LUVV is our power, certainty, direction, and purpose.  When we luvv, we engage.  When we luvv, we change what we touch.  When we luvv, we lift whatever is around us.  Luvving what we don’t like is staying open to it, connecting with it to find a solution or new way through.  It takes guts, focus and discipline, but when luvv is activated, magic is sitting in the sidecar, waiting to show the way.

I have a dear companion, Leslie, who has learned to put luvv into her cooking.  She recently made peanut butter cookies for my household, and both my son and husband do not like peanut butter cookies.  But they both RAVED about these cookies–my husband, Jerome, even ate them for breakfast!  They were attracted to the luvv they could taste in the cookies.  (Read Jerome’s story about them on his personal development website, I Can Win Now)   We all know the difference when food is made with luvv.  Think about putting luvv in your emails, or project summaries, or your child’s lunches…. How do you do that?  Read ahead.

In this case, Samantha pleaded with me, “I can’t call him.  I don’t want to respond at all.”  We discovered that she felt too exposed to him, unable to stop the belittling pattern quicker than she knew how to stop him.

I looked into my spiritual arsenal and realized she didn’t know how to keep him from taking her energy.  She needed a shield to keep herself protected and strong.  We activated the copper pyramid.

Picture a copper pyramid (a square bottom and 4 triangles leaning inward) made of copper, or Lincoln head pennies.  Picture that shiny pyramid floating above your head.  Pull the energy of that pyramid into your body, like liquid streams of copper flowing down your spine, into your legs and out your feet.  Allow it to fill you backbone and body with the energy of  strength and focus.

You can also picture yourself inside a large, shiny copper pyramid, large enough for you, or a group of you.  Feel yourself inside the solid strength and protection of the pyramid.

That’s the payoff of learning to luvv what you don’t like–you can find your power, speak your truth, and back your play.  Some call this confidence.  I also call it magic.

Learning to luvv what you don’t like can be a focus for a lifetime.  It is for me.  But every time I do, I get stronger, like working out in the gym.  My luvv muscles are learning to hold more power and my capacity is increasing.  I still lose it big time, but similar to dropping a heavy barbell, I can pick it back up and lift more weight. I am learning to luvv what I don’t like.

My suggestion to me – keep up the great work!

We are not aware of how transparent we really are.  We seem to think that if we sugar coat a message or just tell it like it is, others won’t notice the dagger in our hand, or that they just had all their energy sucked out of their being in the midst of a rough conversation.

Heated discussions are not draining by nature, and conflict does not guarantee that you will be zapped of your juice, but lack of awareness of  how we and others handle these situations energetically can show us this:

We are much better at draining each other than lifting each other.

Many of us have been taught to distance ourselves from behaviors we don’t like.  Avoid those people, or openly be critical, because they may rub off on you.  Yet, if someone is in drain mode, resisting and fighting them puts you in defense, which will drain yourself.

LETS LOOK AT DRAIN MODE

How our energy flows through the body is consistent from person to person, regardless of age, sex, background, or upbringing.   The top of the head is called the crown, and this is how energy enters the body.  When we are open, it flows down and out through our eyes, hands, and our chest cavity called the heart center.  In fact, the heart center is the loud speaker of the body.  When open, the heart can radiate energy to those around you.  You can learn to radiate it a very large distance, across the room or across the planet.

When we are in drain mode, we have shut off the inflow of this energy before it reaches the crown, or before it reaches the heart.  If you can picture a valve above your head that can allow life energy to flood in when open, or blocked to nill when closed, you’ll get a sense of what we do on a moment-to moment-basis.  Most of us are selective;  we close off the valve around the people and things we don’t like.

DRAIN MODE is shutting this valve and then realizing you don’t have enough.  You get irritated and impatient, or aggravated with stuff that usually doesn’t bother you.  These are signals that you’re valve is closed.  In drain mode, we go and snatch energy from others.  We actually take it, usually in conversations.  Think of the times you have started a discussion with someone feeling energized, only to walk away and feeling absolutely zapped?  That’s drain mode.  They’ve taken your energy.  We all know how to do it, and sadly, in teams, we get good at doing it on a regular basis.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU HAVE VAMPIRES IN YOUR MIDST?

Vampires in our midst—oh no, what do we do?

Notice any extra fangs in those around you these days?  When the pressure is up, and more is expected, and we don’t have the discipline built to learn as we go, taking energy from others is common.  When we get habitually patterned to shut down our own valve, and then take energy from others full force, we could be operating as a vampire.  Vampires suck this energy from those around them, and over time, they’re often unconscious of the pattern.  You know vampires around you:  they begin to talk and you want to escape, they get around you and you feel drained or the need to protect yourself for some reason, or you feel they “owe” you and you don’t know why.  They are skilled at taking and you haven’t learn to not let them do so.

WHAT ARE THE COSTS?

What are the costs to your team for draining?  We often don’t recognize the costs initially, and usually give others a pass, saying it’s the way things are at this organization.  The costs can be covert:  less passion, less idea generation, and less overall participation.

Then there are marked overt costs to a team as well:  lower productivity, wars that go unresolved, redundancy, lack of effective communication, and an overall feeling of inability to stay current with the demands of the day. These costs can be deadly.  They usually render you unable to change, when change is upon you.

Here’s a thought – learn to lift instead of drain!

LEARNING TO LIFT VS. DRAIN

It takes character and discipline to lift others.  We all drain sometimes, even if we do it subtly or with a smile on our face.   A dynamic team is one that knows that all must stay on duty, and that when one is having a bad day, others are their providing a lift to assist them out of drain mode.

If you keep your life energy valve open, you can lift all around you. You can walk down the hall radiating energy to anyone who could use some extra.  They don’t take from you, you give it generously because that’s what happens when you are open—your energy flows out your eyes, hands and heart, available for others to reconnect and open themselves.

Here are a few ways to open yourself back up,as well as assist others around you (including the vampires).

1)  USE THE BLACK BULL

Picture your heart center taking up your entire chest cavity. Picture a solid, powerful black bull in your heart.  See its long horns, put a ring through it’s nose and see it pawing the ground.  It’s solid, symbolizing strength, determination and courage.

The black bull is the symbol of I CAN.  “I can change, I can adapt, I can deal with these issues, I can rebound, I can figure this out, I can ask for assistance….”  For people who don’t visualize well, you can also speak “I CAN” into your heart.

Use the BULL  or the “I CAN” when you are desiring more strength, determination, courage or backbone.  Use it when you want to be strong and focused.  Use it often, repeatedly, so that it becomes a tool to grasp when the going gets tough.

2)  USE THE GOLDEN DOLLAR SIGN $

You’ve seen that bling hanging from the chain of rap stars or fashion changers?  Picture a large, radiantly shiny golden dollar sign in your heart center.  The Golden $ is a symbol of your own worth and value, showcasing your inner gold mine. This is a way to consistently find your inner strength and power.

We often step away from the gold when chaos, pressure and change are upon us, or we are combating others.  Put the golden dollar sign in your heart in preparation for tough meetings, conflicting interactions, or around people who tend to be critical and condescending in nature.

This symbols speaks to your being as “ALL IS WELL.”  Say those words across your heart, or use the GOLDEN DOLLAR SIGN to bring you to the place within where all is well, even when things are crazy all around you.  You can be the calm in the storm.

WHAT NOW?

My recommendation:  take one of these tools and repeat it often throughout the day. Use it when you don’t need it so that it will speak to you when you do.  Repeat it daily. Be disciplined and consistent and soon it will become yours.  When a new learning or tool is integrated, it will come to your aid under pressure when you need it most.  For example, for your inner voice to tell you “Use the black bull” when you are in midst of pressure or conflict, you have to have used it often enough already (somewhere between 30- 60 times.)

Have fun learning!

My nephew recently said he wished he could bottle up my outlook on life and have it at his disposal when he needed it. So do I! I wish it was that easy. It made me think about what I do to keep that energy flowing through me.

I am inspired by the simple pleasures in life. These are what make me feel like an individual. It’s a way I know myself. For example, wearing high heels doesn’t make sense often, and my chiropractor says it’s not good for me. BUT, when I step into those heels and wear an outfit that brings out my beauty and sexiness, I do better work. I speak from greater truth. I am much more intuitive. I dress with character, consciously, for how I feel in my being as I go out and meet the day or night. Just today, a friend recounted exactly what I wore to my best friend’s St. Patrick’s Day party – she remembered it down to my green velvet hat, and I had forgotten!

I’ve also discovered that I am better for being in motion than being still. If I don’t get physical, I become like a volcano that can erupt at any moment. The best exercise or motion for anyone is probably the one you’ll actually do! I’ve discovered that I luvv to have fun through my body. Put on some hip hop and grab a hoola hoop and watch me go! I’m up to 30 minutes at a time. Yeehaw! I dance in my office alone or in classes like Cardio Carnivale or Burlesque. I walk in the sun and drink in its warmth on my skin. And I absolutely luvv being drenched with sweat from power yoga. All of these let me hang out with my physical body, like a dear companion. As a result, I am very comfortable in my own skin.

And then there’s work, stress and challenges of life. There have been days, this year especially, where I feel I could pull my hair out and give up. Some days I do just that. But when I don’t, I find my greatest inspiration comes from acts of courage. Where does someone go to learn courage? Where do you send someone to learn the steps to becoming a courageous individual, or a courageous leader?

I have found courage can be learned through movies. What a fun way to learn—get horizontal and watch someone else find their way through worldly perils, life/death situations, and family wars! But it’s the demonstration of what an individual can do, and will do, under stress and duress that grabs my attention. It’s my dose of seeing what I can do too, if I will.

Clients are always asking me for my recommended booklist on leadership, stress management or communication skills. I don’t have such a list, but I do have a different list: Movies of Courage and Principle. It’s so much more fun to learn from the examples of others in an uplifting way.

Here’s a sample video clip from the movie Rocky Balboa. It’s a very powerful scene of Rocky redirecting his son’s focus away from cowardice toward facing his own truth.

When I can en-courage myself from my own demonstration of courage, now that’s life’s adventure at work! That’s the frosting on the cake. Then I can be a living example of inspiration that can motivate others. And when I can’t find that gear, I keep at the disciplines above to continue developing a more fun, luvving, and courageous heart.

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Lulu says hello. Lulu passed away and left her body. Her spirit lives on.

She was around 16 years old. I had lived with her and her doggy self for 15 years and 3 months and 3 days. I loved her deeply. She had strong feelings about me too. She didn’t want to leave and that’s why she stayed around so long, even when she was in pain in the body. She died in her sleep and looked peaceful.

I am happy and sad and fuller for this deep experience with her.

She sends a big woof to you and yours. She especially loved cats (loved to chase them, that is.) She loved to chase and bark at the Garbage Truck and the UPS Truck. Loved it. She enjoyed ice cream, pasta and bacon, but not all at once. She liked people, but not little kids. Her bark was tremendous.

Please click HERE if you would like to get in touch with Martha.
Find out more about Martha

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!

Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said, “Wait right here.”

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s!”

Are you looking to have a very Merry Christmas or Holiday? Do your expectations exceed what really happens? Then it may be time for a different approach to keeping the spirit season. Why not discover how to maintain balance, enjoy the season and recharge your battery at the same time.

Over the years I have learned how my own set of beliefs around traditions have stymied my joy during this season. Through trial and error and a little nudging, I have gradually disrobed myself of the traditions that have left me frustrated and drained, and have embraced the fresh scent of the pines that comes with each new Christmas.

Key #1: Be Debt Free.
More people go into debt this time of year than at any other time, feeling obligated to meet the expectations of others. I get stressful just writing about it. I remember when I felt I had to buy presents, no matter what my personal or family financial circumstances were. Be honest with those you are connected to and let them know that your financial situation precludes expensive gift buying. Invite them to participate in a new way to exchange gifts. Honor that luvv is the greatest gift of all, and give in a way that works by leaving you open to enjoy the season. What do you already put your luvv into?

♥ Baking?  
♥ Emails?   
♥ Photos?    
♥ Videos?     
♥ Songs?      
♥ Writings?       
♥ Gardening?

Take what you luvv and give that.

Get current. Start by asking yourself, “What holiday traditions do I absolutely enjoy and get excited about?” And “What ones do I dread even though I or my family have always done them?” It’s time to get current — let go of the traditions that don’t bring you a lift. I have to personally watch myself that I don’t fill this very powerful season with nonstop distractions: buying gifts for way too many people, obligations to do the right thing for all the family members, or discharging my own energy, focus and power to get through another season.

Key #2: Release Your Hold on Clock Time.
Most of us are run by the clock — appointments, meetings, scheduled time with others, round the clock attention to the clock. Time becomes the enemy. We talk bad about it. And we never have enough.

I’ve learned to make time my companion by developing greater listening, increasing my desire to have fun in spite of what others think I should be doing; and finally, to delegate so that I don’t become a prisoner in my own time capsule. Even if you are a single parent or self-employed, there are always resources to assist with time issues if we open up to them.

I found myself stuck in Clock Time years ago, on that holiday hamster wheel, scrambling to catch up, show up, ante up, but ultimately giving up! Time kept me feeling impoverished because I never had enough. My business advisor, Henry Conyers, connected me to a truth:

Time is my Companion. Time is my Companion.

He instructed me to say it in my heart. The heart is where we purify illusions and misunderstandings. I saw it written across my heart like a ticker tape message, breathing it in and out. Time is my companion. Time to embrace the day, time to discover, time to connect, ride the roller coaster of change, or deal with challenges. Time to be in the magical flow of my day, not stuck in the mental tick tock of expectations. Time is my companion. The clock can be a mere metronome of moving forward.

Key #3: KISS — Keep It Simple, Silly!
This is a time of renewal — a time to relax, listen deeply, hang out with friends, enjoy being alone, write, watch inspirational movies, play Rockband, build something, be spontaneous, watch sports, and be available when friends drop by. It takes courage to do any one of these simple things this time of year. It builds character and freedom to listen to your own being. Move from Doing to Being. Your Being is the part that knows how to be. It takes discipline to trust it.

If your time is limited because of work responsibilities or family visits, become selfish enough to find time to embrace the day for yourself. This holiday season I will be focusing on becoming a better receiver, and making sure I give with a full heart, no matter if it’s cookies or a diamond watch. This is my favorite holiday to receive the inner gifts, the inner truths, the deeper pearls of wisdom and natural knowing that are part of the preparation for the New Year. My challenge is to embrace the spiritual gifts as them come to me. It’s time to embrace peace.

PEACE: Passionate Energy Activating Courageous Exchange

Here’s wishing you a very peaceful Christmas and holiday season.

Take 3 minutes to watch one of the most fun and inspiring holiday videos of the season!

Find out more about Gail

Something’s strange in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call–Ghostbusters?

I was given an assignment by a new client, the president of a fast paced, sales driven company, to train a dynamic manager at one of his satellite offices in skills he needed due to his growing facility. I spent two days with the manager, establishing a great connection so that he would trust me and learn from me around time management and delegation skills. I put together a summary that outlined what we had covered.

When the president read what I had written, he emailed me with a biting statement: “This is not what I asked you to do. Call me immediately.” My heart pounded out of my chest as I read this.

After some deep breaths I called him, and he began to yell at me. His frustration was paramount because of the manager’s workload, long hours and therefore imbalanced life. He felt the manager’s lack of time management and delegation skills was going to kill him if he didn’t get some training. And while he thought I could assist, instead my report outlined the connection and rapport that was established, the understanding of his style in relationship to his staff, and general understanding of the business’ growing pains. It didn’t address the specific changes in his approach to time and delegation.

He tried to cover it up, but he was livid. I sensed that to hire someone like me to do this type of work was a first for him, and then to have it appear that I didn’t deliver on what he wanted, he sounded angry, frustrated and exasperated. He carried on for five minutes on how I missed the mark and how I was taking this in the wrong direction after both he and another leader had spelled it out so clearly. I felt him pummel me with energy bullets and it took a lot to not cry or put up a strong defense. In truth, I was paralyzed with no words, so I suggested we both sleep on it and discuss it further the next day. He readily agreed.

Step #1: “I BLEW IT”: We don’t always get a say in what is next for us to learn.

As I got off the phone, I realized I was shaking. Here it was a new client and I blew it. Did I really misunderstand the assignment? Did I miss the mark? Did I know how to deal with this type of in-your-face, intense leader?

If I am not open or aware, the first place I go is doubt. I started to think about not sending him an invoice for my work. I would just concede that I’m not the one for the job. I’d just slide away and not charge him any money for my time and efforts. Yeah, like that would be a solution!

These were old tapes, and earlier in my career I was driven by these lies. I have learned to rise above them by asking for assistance, admitting I have something to learn, or facing the courage that there’s more to do.

Step #2: STEP BACK AND HEAR THE TRUTH: Asking for assistance can be a brave demonstration of wisdom.

I asked Jerome, my husband and business associate, what he heard as I described the interaction. Jerome himself has some of the traits of this boss, and so I knew he’d tell it like it is. He thought I probably did do what was needed to make a connection with this manager, and establish the trust needed so he could learn from me. He thought I just needed to say that the initial time together was spent setting the foundation and more could now be done by phone to hit the targets he asked me to work on. I took a deep breath and relaxed. It’s really, really valuable to have someone who can listen to the truth when you are emotionally involved. Jerome is an awesome listener when I am stuck!

Step #3: SLEEP ON IT: Things are clearer after a great night’s sleep. Sleep is a time of learning.

The greatest thing I did was to suggest we sleep on it. Part of that was to step away and give the space to release any emotional charge of failing, not being the right one for the job, or doubting my abilities. But a huge part is actually in sleeping. When we sleep, we recharge and we learn. Many issues get sorted out. I often find I awaken with clarity and courage to face the day new. The troubles of the day before seem to get upgraded with magical answers on how to proceed. That’s what happened for me: I awakened feeling ready, willing and able to back what I had done and how to proceed going forward.

I also awakened with an awareness that my summary was too vague for the president: it offered the foundation upon which I could further drive the learning of new principles, but it didn’t reassure him with tangible outcomes and specifics of how the manager was going to change his ways. I didn’t see that until I slept on it.

Step #4: PURIFY AND LIFT OTHER’S JUNK: It takes courage to hold on when attacked. It takes heart to purify the junk.

Often when people yell or attack, they are releasing frustration and anger that’s not fully directed at the attackee. Somebody attacked them, or something happened that got them frustrated, and then this opportunity comes up and then unleash. It takes courage to be attacked and not wilt like a flower. It takes courage to “lift” the situation by staying present and engaged vs. making the attacker wrong. I could feel the automatic reaction building inside to defend, attack back and make him out to be the villain. But the truth is that we all have our days and moments, and I am the one that loses by getting caught up in making him wrong. It takes courage to purify someone’s junk or discharge.
What do you do with other’s “slime?” Like the Ghostbusters, developing a way to capture and transform it clears the way for further connection and communication. I often put a black bull in my heart to engage my courage to stay open and curious to find a way to proceed forward.

Step #5: CHANGE IS GONNA COME: Trust that you assist people to change if you stay open.

The next morning I called back the president. He ducked out of a meeting to take my call and started with a very warm tone, “I know you are competent and the right person for this job. I want you to continue working with the manager. He can learn from you in ways he can’t learn from me because I’m his boss. I have full confidence in what you two can do together.”

Wow, sleeping on it worked for him too! We had a very concrete discussion about the specific next steps, and this conversation inspired me to write up a target list of the measurable outcomes we would work on together. The manager enthusiastically jumped on board, the boss luvved seeing the specifics, and we were all able to proceed together in alignment.

My sense is that the training will accelerate as a result of us all learning how to work better together. It took learning, listening, lifting, and luvving through this process and I am stronger as a result of it. I am also grateful for the way life provides opportunities to learn, if we will.

Next time you get attacked or yelled at, courageously hold on and take the ride.

Ride the roller coaster of change.

Sit in the front seat with your hands in the air and yell, “Wheeeee!”

Now that’s a theme for 2010—ride the change!

For the most part, even as smart people, we are programmed to resist change. We fight it and avoid it and bad mouth it and deny it, and in the end, it’s still upon us. And 2010 is bringing in the change like a big dog!

Change in money, change in economy, change in business, change in marriage, change in the way our lives work. Change, change change. Funny how we call small amounts of money “change.”

“You got any change?” Yes, do you? Will you? They key is to not fight it but to embrace it. Ride it. Think about the big area of concern in your life, what you might say is “not working.” Chances are, it is working, but it’s working you! It’s wrapped itself around you to get you to move and see things new. Change brings the new and connects it to you personally. But each of us has to be willing to open the gift that change brings.

I’m looking squarely at major change in my own life. My business is growing, my son is going away to college, my husband wants to be with me differently, and my reference points are outdated. Then along comes my birthday: May 7th. This year, I turned 55. I was born in 1955, in the fifth month of the year. I was the 5th child in our family, and I’m 5’5” tall. And 5 is my favorite number. What’s with all the 5’s?

Well, in numerology, 5 represents FREEDOM. And Freedom is the ability to be yourself in all circumstances. It’s the expression of the individual who honors his/own truth no matter who or what is around. Being yourself at work, with your family, around people you don’t care for, with yourself. Now that’s freedom, and change is calling each of us out to step into that. Change is Life’s messenger bringing the boot to kick our butts.

For me, change is calling for more of me, more of my individuality, and going where I haven’t gone before. I have been trained to believe that being known and remembered as a “nice person” is a noble pursuit. In the past, it has appeared that my life works when people like me. But times are changing, and with this change have come greater surges of truth to the surface, the suppressed expressions that no longer can be held back. Like a mighty “ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!”
I don’t want to be nice. I desire to be powerful, vital, expansive and luvving.

Time to get on that roller coaster and put my hands in the air and let a loud “wheeeeeeeeee” reverberate from my being. All I get is tension if I fight it. But if I embrace it, I’m in life’s adventure and even the difficulties can be fun.

Change keeps us young…

We often feel that change will take away something we hold so dear. It does – it takes away our illusions and replaces them with truths, if we follow the flow.

FOR YOU RIGHT NOW:

Here’s something for you to do right now. Think about how change is talking to you at work or at home. If it’s at work, what’s upon you to change: is it something with you, with your team, your approach to your workload, your business associates? Are you generating a spirit of connection, achievement and fulfillment, or maintaining the same ol’ same ol’?

If it’s at home, is it something with you, your luvved ones, your family dynamic, your traditions? Get clear on what’s upon you to change, coupled with what you desire as an outcome. What’s in your heart that is yearning to be so in your life? What are you resisting relaxing into to discover how to see or do it differently?

Now, see yourself riding that roller coaster (the roller coaster symbolizes change.) You are in the front seat and with you is whatever old beliefs or illusions or reference points you are hanging on to. Together you are climbing up to that first peak, and as you just being to come over the top, you put your hands in the air and trust, yelling “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” as the roller coaster carries you down the tracks and you embrace the adventure in store for you.

Ride that roller coaster…daily.

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